Remembrance Parks Central Victoria grave site adornment policy angers Bendigo plot holders.

The "right of interment" (ROI) holders feel they haven't so far been heard by the Remembrance Parks Central Victoria (RPCV) managers and plan to take their cause to their local representatives as well as the media.

"We're not going to stop here," says Dianne Phillips, who after 10 years is still raw with grief over the death of her teenage son.

Dianne and her husband Doug first heard from a cemetery worker that many of the elements of the memorial they have created for their son were liable to be removed without notice and taken to the Eaglehawk tip.

Ms Phillips found the news incredibly distressing.

Since the loss of 18-year-old Blake, who died suddenly from a tumour in 2011, she has struggled to find the will to live, and says that tending his grave daily is "the only thing that helps".

"There are no words ever invented to describe the loss of a child. He was so precious in our lives," she says.

"They've got to understand grief. It's a place of grieving and healing.

"I can't believe there was anyone [involved in this decision] who had ever buried a child or anyone close."

Under a longstanding policy which has apparently rarely been enforced at Bendigo, Remembrance Parks Central Victoria (RPCV), a not-for-profit organisation which runs 11 regional and metropolitan cemeteries, forbids the use of glass, porcelain, terra cotta and clay vases, pots and keepsakes at grave sites "due to the safety risk posed by sharp pieces when broken".

Also banned as "hazardous" are stones, pebbles, decorative fencing, solar lights and metal spikes.

"Items affixed to surrounding trees, plants and shrubs or placed within garden beds and walking paths" are also prohibited.

"These pose a safety risk, impede access and may damage trees and shrubs or be considered unsightly by others," a pamphlet on the "adornment" policy says.

"These items will be removed upon detection without prior notification."

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On December 15 RPCV posted on Facebook that in line with the policy, "weathered, damaged and prohibited items" would be removed from memorials at Bendigo as the organisation prepared to embark on beautification works in the children's "Garden of Peace" in February.

It also put up signs on the cemetery's gates.

According to CEO Emma Flukes, these didn't refer to a change of policy but rather increased attention.

"We have increased our focus on the general upkeep and appearance of our remembrance parks based on community feedback and, in particular, the need to apply the adornments policy consistently," she told the Bendigo Advertiser.

"RPCV staff are working hard to improve the overall aesthetic of our locations and deliver on the RPCV Trust strategic vision of creating community parklands."

Ms Flukes acknowledged there was "much work to do", particularly given damage from heavy rain and flooding across all the trust's locations.

Dianne and Doug Phillips and couple Anita and Marc Sertori agreed a lot of work was needed at Bendigo, with the cemetery currently a far cry from "community parklands".

While they accepted there were poorly kept and neglected graves in need of attention at Bendigo and that bans on glass, items protruding from the grass and alcohol were reasonable, they say the entire cemetery is in dire need of work and there are many more hazardous issues than those presented by items of adornment.

"It's a very uncared for cemetery," Dianne Phillips says.

"No lawn seed is even sown when a person is laid to rest.

"About every eight weeks it gets mown if you're lucky.

"And people are constantly falling there because it is such an uneven surface, which I've been told is because they don't have a compactor."

Doug Phillips planted the lawn on Blake's grave himself and mows and also edges it, because the standard method of controlling edges by maintenance staff is to spray them.

Marc Sertori described the potholed cemetery roads as "a disgrace".

"They've got to look at their own stuff, not ours," he said.

Like the Phillipses, the Sertoris are daily visitors to the grave of their son, whose loss in a car accident, at the age of 18 five years ago they will never recover from.

"He was so happy and perfectly healthy," Anita Sertori says.

"He loved fishing, loved life, loved being around his family and friends and would do anything for anyone."

The couple have transformed Charlie's grave with items representing his life, including a fishing rod and lures and sand-filled cans of his favourite drink, Canadian Club.

They have also strung up solar lights across the back of a bench they obtained permission to install.

"It's keeping their personality alive," Mr Sertori says.

"We just want to put stuff here to remember our kids, and if that involves a fishing rod or some solar lights [that is how it is]."

The ban on solar lights is of particular concern to the two couples and many others who have commented about the issue on social media posts.

"The cemetery at night looks beautiful with all the solar lights," another plot holder, Peter Burns, said. "They aren't going to be allowed in future."

"These are memorials to our lost souls that we paid for," Dianne Phillips says.

"It's all we can do for our sons now - look after their little property."

Asked if there had been a lack of communication from the trust, Ms Flukes said that given thousands of burial locations across the state they were responsible for, it would be impractical for cemetery trusts to write or meet with every ROI holder when changes occurred.

"Similarly, this would be the case for RPCV with changes to day-to-day operational arrangements," she said.

However, the organisation was "happy to work with ROI holders and families to discuss their concerns", she said.

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