We had a big family gathering at Casa Bushwhacked last weekend, so there was a LOT of reminiscing about how good we all were – and how much simpler stuff used to be when we were kids.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
Heh. That was between everyone checking their Facebook halfway through a conversation, or ducking off to recharge the smart phone, iPad, hearing aids.
Or checking on Google how to spell “cardiovascular” or “warfarin”.
But it’s true: things are much more complex and confusing now.
And it’s not just because we were all getting to our anecdotage (“the older I get, the better I was”).
And here’s proof. One of my favourite old magazines used to be Popular Mechanics.
Especially the very old copies, which always seemed to want to forecast the immediate future but were often rampagingly wrong.
Well, old P.M. still exists in digital form, and it’s just published a list of the 50 best gifts for Christmas 2017.
I swear I do not know what more than half of them are. And I’m beginning to suspect that there are vast mobs of people trying to reinvent stuff we never needed to do stuff we were perfectly happy doing the old way and charging us hugely for the privilege.
Here are a few samples. A “compact ECD set – $60.” I keep looking at it and it still looks like a pocket knife.
A “sphere ice mold set – $31” Perhaps it’s US spelling, but why would you want cold spherical fungus?
Oh, wait, it’s a container for putting water in and making ice in your freezer. Bet you’ve never seen one of those before.
A “Goal Zero rechargeable lantern – $80”. You – now get this – crank a handle to generate electricity and light AND it’ll recharge your devices, whatever they happen to be.
A “Tenkara Mini Sawtooth – $250”. It’s a fishing line which collapses to just 25 centimetres.
A “Whisky Peaks Rocks glass – $70.” It’s, well, a whisky glass, BUT it has a glass model of a mountain in the bottom.
An “MMX Vancouver Crossbow – $79.” Not just any old crossbow, this one can shoot marshmallows up to 20 metres.
A “Huckberry X-LumTech GMT watch – $498.“ It is a basic watch.
A “Ukeg 64oz – $185.” It holds beer, and errr, no, that’s it. It just holds beer.
A “Yeti Hopper Flip 12 – $50.” It holds … yep, beer.
A “Shinola + Zippo lighter – $50.” It is a (gasp) Zippo lighter.
A “Distil Union Wally – $60.” A high-tech, well, not really.
It’s a smallish wallet for blokes who don’t want a big wallet.
However, what I’m really hoping for under the tree this year is the $499 Navdy Augmented Reality Windshield Projected Navigation.
You put it in your car and its shows maps and all sorts of things projected directly onto your windscreen.
“Simply wave your hand and your calls and messages (along with directions) will display on your windshield...”
Now, what could possibly go wrong?
It sounds about as wonderful as the 1955 invention – and I swear I’m not making this up – for people who just couldn’t get enough of the lovely nicotine: a cigarette holder which could hold, and burn, 20 cigarettes at a time.
Or the 1960s self-playing harmonica which was connected to your Hoover vacuum cleaner.
WAYNE GREGSON
