JANE Pethebridge died last year an unmarried woman – despite the fact she was in a loving relationship of nearly two decades. 

So the prospect of same-sex marriage leaves her bereaved partner, Di O'Neil, with mixed emotions.

“It's too late for Jane and I now,” she said. 

“But that’s not the reason I would’ve wanted marriage made available to us anyhow.”

Ms O'Neil, 69, was babysitting her two-year-old grandson when she spoke with the Bendigo Advertiser.  

“I want [same-sex marriage] to be an option for him if that’s what he wants when he grows up, or to any loving couple,” she said.

“To me it is about social justice.”

It was for others that Ms O’Neil was disappointed when the chances of same-sex marriage under current parliament were effectively killed on Tuesday night – and not just people in homosexual relationships. 

“One of the things that bothers me is that there are so many huge issues in the world,” she said.

The “kind-of-retired” social worker compared gay marriage to the displacement of people around the world and to climate change.

“To me, it’s just such a simple issue which we could’ve just voted on and gotten out of the road to tackle the big issues….

“But, you know, I guess I am biased.”

It’s not just her to whom the notion of a loving couples wanting to marry appears common sense. 

When Ms O’Neil’s granddaughter was four she asked her mother why Di and Jane weren’t married.

“When she was told ‘women aren’t allowed to get married here’ my granddaughter said... ‘well what about in Kangaroo Flat?” Ms O’Neil recalled. 

“That’s how straight-forward it was to her.” 

Ms O’Neill had two children with her former husband, with whom she is still on “drop in unannounced” basis. 

“I came out when I was 50 and my children were still young adults,” she said.

“So the argument that children need two parents of each gender, from my experience, and from years and years of working experience as well, frankly, just doesn't stand up.”

Ms O’Neil received an OAM among a number “little trophies” for her more than 40-year contribution to her field and to the Bendigo community. 

Her late partner also had two children from a previous relationship, though hers was another women.

“Marriage would’ve been more important for Jane than for me,” Ms O’Neill said. 

“For Jane to have been able to have been married in front of her own family would have been important for her.”