Down the Mall's top predictions for 2017

Is it really 2017 tomorrow? The calendar says so, so it’s time for an annual review of predictions in the past year.

A surprising number of alleged psychics, soothsayers and associated charlatans leave their annual predictions around on the internet for people like DTM to poke fun at.

I am particularly horn-swoggled by the stabs in the dark, sorry, insightful predictions of someone called Vine who said that 2016 would bring a failure by Donald Trump to become US president.

Although he/she claimed an accurate prediction that Trump’s campaign would bring turmoil. Which is a bit like predicting next year will be 2017.

FUTURE: Down the Mall looks into his crystal ball to see what the future holds for Bendigo in 2017.

FUTURE: Down the Mall looks into his crystal ball to see what the future holds for Bendigo in 2017.

In two self back-patting episodes Vine claimed a hit by predicting Coalition Government in-fighting and – get this – Labor opposition in-fighting.

Someone called Tana Hoy welcomed President Hillary Clinton and noted her struggle at the revelation that hubby Bill is gay. Oh, and Australia was going to experiences weird weather. Really? Do tell.

On and on they go. Never-ending lists of nonsense which have probably scared the pants off some people.

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So, here’s DTM’s Predictions of the Year.

  • There will be heated words in Bendigo council, and someone will be upset.
  • There will be more weather in Bendigo than ever before in recorded history.

Someone will complain about:

  • Duck hunting, planned new subdivisions, daylight saving, long grass next to their homes, the yoof of today, the Mall, traffic, parking, parking again, that things are not what they used to be, that someone is getting paid too much/too little/at all, that our Members of Parliament “orta” do anything except what they are already doing, that anyone who doesn’t agree with the first person is an idiot and should be gagged from further comment, and, of course, parking.
  • That in December 2017, someone will comment: Gosh, it’s hot.
  • This may be the same person who in June 2017 said: Geez, it’s cold.
  • DTM’s chubby little chooks will continue to lay two or three eggs a day.

You read it here first.

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