The two colleagues share the misfortune of losing loved ones to suicide. 

Ms Skipper’s niece, Jeneah, took her own life last year. 

Mr Sandvik’s son, Liam, died by suicide 18 months ago.

The bereaved Bendigonians will march alongside other grieving families and friends on Sunday when the Suicide Prevention Awareness Network’s annual walk of remembrance passes through the city’s Chinese district.  

Ms Skipper said the event was an important opportunity to honour those who had died by suicide.

“It’s so lovely to see so many people there reflecting on what their family meant to them,” she said. 

“It's a wonderful celebration of life and it's nice to be around people who are happy to hear about it, and share their stories.”

Her niece’s story is a troubled one: Jeneah’s mother was a drug addict and the teenager spent time in foster homes before starting a volatile relationship in which drug and alcohol abuse were common.

She was 19 years old when she decided to take her own life. 

“She had a pretty unstable, disconnected time,” Ms Skipper said.

“Things were quite challenging for her from the outset.”

Jeneah’s death affected family members in different ways, Ms Skipper said, with some thinking they could have done more while others were angry the teenager did not reach out for help.

Ms Skipper’s reaction was different again, simply hoping her niece could finally rest in peace.

“At the time she made that choice, she clearly felt she didn't have any other choice to make,” she said. 

But Jeneah’s aunt said more effort was needed to help young people who find themselves contemplating suicide without the tools needed to navigate those feelings. 

“They might not have experienced that type of situation before, or have been on the other side of it to know that it does get better,” she said. 

Mr Sandvik said his son battled with mental illness for most of his life.

Liam was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 17 and spent the next decade as a patient of mental health facilities, feeling trapped by the medicine he was prescribed. 

“He was chemically restrained by a lot of his medications, by being diagnosed with schizophrenia and the stigma attached to it,” Mr Sandvik said. 

“He couldn't work, he couldn't socialise.” 

Liam was 27 years old when he died.

Even though he knew his son was at risk of suicide, Mr Sandvik said he was shocked to learn Liam had taken his own life.

He had only seen him the night before, and gave no indication about what he would soon do.

Almost two years since losing his son, Mr Sandvik said he hoped the healthcare sector could come to treat sufferers of mental illness more holistically and less like patients. 

He remembered how Liam was so traumatised by his time in psychiatric care that when he was eventually able to live independently, he refused to see a doctor, terrified he would be referred to the same services he had left behind. 

“Of course his mental health got worse as time went on,” he said. 

Depending on neighbours, friends and his employer for support in the aftermath of Liam’s death, Mr Sandvik said he was not left wanting. 

“When I do cry, I cry for the wonderful support we had,” he said.

But Ms Skipper said she confronted the stigma that surrounds suicide when people felt they could not broach the topic with her.

“Within the family, we're used to talking about it,” she said.

“But externally, it’s something people haven't wanted to talk to me about.  

“I think it’s different when you say someone has died, to when you say someone has committed suicide.”

How to talk about suicide is something Mr Sandvik has had to learn, too. 

One day, on a bus trip to Cobram, someone asked him how many children he had.

When he answered “two”, the co-worker accompanying him offered a correction.

“‘No, you’ve got three,’ they said. That was a wake-up call. From that day on, I thought, ‘I will talk about this person’,” Mr Sandvik said.  

Asked how they would like their family members to be remembered, Ms Skipper said Jeneah was someone who loved her mother and her sisters dearly.

Mr Sandvik hoped people would remember Liam as a lover of music and someone who “never said a bad word about anyone”.

“He was very giving. He had a heart of gold,” he said.

“He was a quiet achiever in many ways.”

Liam was also an artist, and his two sisters, Hannah and Ruby, have a tattoo version of a butterfly drawn by their brother.

The winged creature is also the symbol of SPAN, with Sunday’s walk culminating in a ceremony during which people with lived experience of suicide will pin a butterfly dedicated to their lost loved one to a net holding tributes to many lives gone too soon.

The walk begins at 11am on Sunday morning in Bendigo’s Dai Gum San Chinese precinct. 

If you or someone you know is feeling troubled, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.