Whoa! I didn't even know you could turn a prince into a knight. I thought that was a demotion or something. Like swapping a king or a queen for a castle in chess, or a turning an Autobot into a Decepticon halfway through a Transformers movie.

But Prime Minister Tony Abbott has done it again. He's crossed the streams, maxed out the flux capacitor and taken us back to the future by knighting Sir Phil the Greek. And I for one welcome our latest Game of Thrones cosplayer.

To those who would decry this honour I say God's smothering bollocks upon you! Certainly, the PM could have embiggened any old convict. As Lord Nelson (H.G, not the other one) remarked on Australia Day morning, Sir Molly Meldrum, Sir Geoffrey Edelsten and Dame Dannii Minogue select themselves. But these would have been the obvious choices. The safe and  predictable and boring options.

By tapping Sir Phil, the Prime Minister has seized the morrow, striking out for an Australian future where at last the hard drinking, casually racist, insensitive old white bloke gets a fair go. Finally!

And to gong him on a day when many people feel a little uncomfortable with the drunken triumphalism of white Australia twerking in the face of the continent's original peoples, why it's a masterstroke!

It's almost as though Toned Abs did it to distract attention from the drunken triumphalism of white Australia twerking in the face of the continent's original peoples. And you wonder why he's been such a popular and successful leader?

The question arises, of course, now that we have this magnificent, freshly minted knight: What do we do with him? There are sadly no dragons left to slay, and it's unlikely that White Walkers will ever threaten us in the antipodes (or anybody anywhere once global warming really gets rolling).

With his seemingly endless supply of slightly off colour jokes about fat kids, ugly women and foreigners, Sir Phil could be unleashed on the RSL club tour to keep the seniors entertained. Or he could be set to work moderating the comments at Andrew Bolt's blog. But this seems a waste of his talents.

He does have proven skills as a naval officer, and he really doesn't like Johnny Foreigner very much, so we could probably give him one of the Royal Australian Navy's shiny new warships and send him off north to protect us from the brown horde. By God they'd know they'd made a mistake trying to come when they got of a lick of Sir Phil's salty old tongue. But he might have trouble telling the good brown people apart from the bad brown people and start a little war with Indonesia. So perhaps not.

No, there is only one possible use to which we could put our newest knight. A position with a struggling organisation just crying out for his firm hand. A role leading a group of men and women who have been crying out for firm leadership for some time now. An office well suited to an old fashioned sexist and casual bigot.

People of Australia, I give you Sir Phil, your next prime minister.