Like most men, Hugh Martin's first encounter with porn was accidental. When he was about eight, he stumbled across a "fairly extreme" magazine at a friend's house - the possession of a man who clearly needed to find a better hiding place for his stash.
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"It was incredibly confronting, but I was also enthralled by it," he recalls.
Little did he know that one day, it would rule his life. After viewing various forms of porn on and off throughout his adolescence and adult life, Martin says he started turning to it more about 10 years ago. The change coincided with a bout of depression and more accessibility online.
"Once I discovered the ease of it, the anonymity of it and the variety, I was like a child in a lolly shop getting access to everything," he says. " I started to binge."
Martin says the old adage that all addictions begin with pain and end with pain was certainly the case for him. When he was feeling low, pornography became the answer.
But his growing compulsion began to detract from his personal life and he started to feel like a different person when he was viewing it and interacting with it.
As he spent more time secretly indulging, his wife knew he was changing but did not know why. The couple would talk about the distance emerging between them, but Martin retained his secret. There was too much shame.
Then he got caught.
"She discovered history that I hadn't deleted so I came out with it. It was completely shocking," he says. "We still haven't got over it. It's been 12 months since the full and frank admission and I think trust in the relationship will probably never be fully restored."
The 43-year-old Melbourne father is telling his story because he believes a major shift in the nature and accessibility of pornography over the past decade is ruining many men's lives.
While most boys and men view pornography from time to time without it becoming a problem, some experts estimate one in 10 people who use it for sexual gratification, including women, become addicted, exposing them to psychological harm. Some doctors believe the reward mechanisms in addicts' brains make them more susceptible than others.
In recent years, a growing number of psychologists and sexologists have reported addicts' suffering from erectile dysfunction, low libido and other problems in their relationships as a result of excessive use.
It can also be extremely damaging for their partners when they find out. A leading sex therapist Heide McConkey says she has counselled many distraught partners of addicts who feel betrayed, including some who have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress.
In a world where most relationships are sexually and emotionally exclusive, she says discovering your partner's sexual investment in other women or men doing things that you do not do together can be very distressing. Women in particular start to question whether they are still attractive.
"They program themselves with it and need treatment, too," she says.
While there is no definition of normal or a healthy level of pornography use, Ms McConkey says the most common sign of addiction is a persistent inability to stop using it when it becomes problematic. Secrecy, shame, lying and denial are also usually involved, but do not necessarily mean someone is addicted.
While people can seek help from psychologists and other counsellors who specialise in sexual difficulties, Martin has started running what he believes to be the first peer support group workshops for men who are struggling with their use of pornography.
He says there is an enormous amount of relief and hope to be gained from acknowledging the problem and talking about strategies to move on with other men who have experienced it.
Martin has recovered through identifying and addressing the sexual shame that was deepened by his pornography use. Compassion and acceptance from his wife was also crucial to breaking the pattern.
"I started to understand my pain and I stopped running from it," he says. "Porn was keeping me away from confronting it. Now I can sit with pain and be comfortable with it."
The men's coach and therapist is now hoping to help other men feel less isolated and more supported through his "Man Enough" workshops. He says the first step for people struggling with their use is to admit it to themselves and seek help before the damage spirals.
Ms McConkey agrees and says the addiction can be treated if people commit to doing what is required.
"I believe the brain is plastic, the brain can re-learn and people can live a completely normal life after recovery," she says.
-The Age
