At 10pm comes the first announcement. ‘Our apologies but your plane will be delayed for another hour because of fog’. The father begins walking his youngest child who is whimpering with weariness. Keeping him awake is the plan. The mother is attempting to keep the other two occupied. Everyone is beginning to feel fractious and tired. The father discovers his wallet is missing. He searches everywhere where they have been sitting, standing, and walking. No wallet.

A second announcement comes at midnight. All flights abandoned. Everyone go home; come back when we call you.

A taxi is hailed and the trip back to St Kilda begins, luggage tossed into the back of a taxi , whingeing children, exhausted parents. They arrive back at their apartment at 1am and head for the lift.

The one year old who has been entertained by his mother’s house key totters over to the lift and carefully drops the key ring between the lift and side wall. Keys gone forever.

Father peels off to find the concierge who is on duty 24/7. After 20 minutes of fruitless searching the concierge is nowhere to be seen. He is uncontactable.

By now the mother is totally exhausted and leans against their apartment door for support. The door swings open. They had left for a week's holiday forgetting to lock the door. Miracles! In the morning the wallet is found where the taxi collected them.

Two days later they are at Tullamarine again. This time they make it.

My Kingdom for a Key. No.2

It is the last night of the cruise. Everyone is glammed up and ready for a last night of farewells and celebrations with friends old and new.

My friend is travelling on her own and decides to pack her cases, have an early night and leave in good time in the morning.

Not expecting anyone to be around as they are all off carousing, she slips on her shortie Bonds cotton nightie, sans bra, sans knickers. She wheels her cases which are packed and locked, out to the front of the cabin.

A lurch of the ship and the cabin door slams shut and locked with my friend outside her door.

She finds a steward for the next set of cabins. He refuses to help as she is not in his jurisdiction. She is directed to go down in the lift to the front desk and ask for a second card key which will open her door.

She pads quietly in bare feet, tugging on her nightie which is quite short, pulling it down discreetly. She enters the lift which is full of slightly boozy, noisy passengers. They become strangely silent. Eyes downcast, she exits at the floor for the front desk. 

A long line of passengers is waiting to check out that night rather than next morning. My friend joins the queue, still attempting to maintain modesty and discretion. She stands alone in the queue, her nightie a stand out in the glitter and glamour of the last night of reveries, waits an hour and collects her key.

She returns to the lift. Passengers fall silent as she enters. No eye contact.

She exits the lift at her floor, unlocks her door and collapses onto her bed slightly hysterical. Voyage over!