Apparently, your barista learns everything they need to know about you from your favourite coffee type.

Rubbish... you say. 

Well, that's what I said.

Until I ventured upon a story on the internet under the heading: What your coffee says about you - barista spills the beans on customers.

Tragically, I'm fascinated by such stuff.

C'mon, I mean, how could a barista know me just because I'll delightly scoff down a cappuccino with two every chance I get.

So I read on relishing the opportunity to pour scorn on this cocky barista.

This particular barista broke down the coffees into individual styles and rated the drinkers accordingly.

Cafe Latte: Softies 'like a milky latte'. Nice people. More romantic than most. Probably still friends with their first crush!

Awww, nice lot the latte set!

Flat white: Traditionalists. Straight up types with no fuss or pomp. But on the downside they could lack imagination.

Oooohhh, barista, that's surely a low blow.

Long black: Show offs. All about strength and long black suits. Busy, fast and on the go.

Mmmm, could this barista be actually onto something after all - that's maybe how I'd describe a long black lover.

So, now for the big one, we come to cappuccino. My favourite. Let's see how smart you are, Mr Barista.

Cappuccino: The capp-lover doesn't really indulge in their coffee as much as they should.  

Okay, smarty pants. Have you been talking to my wife. She always says I drink them too fast.

Cappuccino: They probably had their first 'capp' when they were about 25 and haven't deviated since.

What, it was 20, and I've tried a latte... once. Even had a Greek coffee... twice. True, I've never tried a flat white, long black, affogato, short black, macchiato, piccolo latte, Vienna, mocha, mellocino, chai latte, caramel latte or purchased any kind of tea at a coffee house. 

Okay, you're getting a bit cocky now mate.

Cappuccino: They are still a child at heart who really loves that chocolate sprinkle on top.

What, why wouldn't you? It's the best part. Who gets a coffee that doesn't have chocolate on top. What's the use of having a coffee without chocolate... and you call yourself a barista. Surely you'd understand that. Sorry.

Cappuccino: They are probably from the country.

Who have you been talking to mate? This is a set up, right? How do you know I'm from Merbein?

What type of coffee do know-alls like then, hey?

Don't like this game anymore.