DTM has been having a little fun lately pointing out how our major media organisations seem to have trouble with geography: with weather maps moving Bendigo anywhere between Stawell and Corryong, and with Geelong described as “central Victoria”.
Well, it continued this week with the Herald Sun website reporting that a tragedy had happened when an elderly lady had been hit by a reversing car in “the north-west of the state”.
It will come as a surprise to the people of Niddrie – the suburb butted up against Essendon airport’s southern boundary – that they’ve moved to the country. We suppose someone decided Niddrie was north-west… of Southbank.
Continuing that theme: ABC News, in its central Victorian online section, yesterday reported:
“Three-metre shark sighted off Torquay Beach.”
We should be very concerned. It could make its way around to the Murray mouth, thousands of klicks up the river, through the Kerang lakes along the Piccaninny and Bendigo Creeks and then into Hargreaves Mall.
Beware the bin
People! You have been warned.
Your scribe broke a leg November after tangling with a wheelie bin, and at the time we issued a warning about how dangerous these things are, and predicted they would one day try to take over the world.
Last month, a Melbourne bloke was reported to have had his leg broken by a flying wheelie bin. See, they’re learning new technology already.
And on Thursday we read of a Sydney bloke callously stabbed in the chest while putting a wheelie bin out.
Then further research showed this line from the Clydebank Guardian in the UK: “When asked about Mr Weir being stabbed and why a wheelie bin was in his living room that wasn't there before the assault, he said: ‘I don't remember stabbing him. I don't really have any recollection of bringing in the wheelie bin.’”
Be afraid, people, be very afraid.
Full moon takes toll
It has been a full moon this week. Really. Look it up.
Those of you who work with the public will already know this. They’ve been coming out of the woodwork all week, and although we don’t understand the science, many of us don’t doubt the truth of the impact of a full moon.
So, for you today we have the Prayer for the Stressed.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of all those people I had to kill this week because they really got up my nose.
Help me to give 100 per cent at work: 12 on Monday, 23 on Tuesday, 40 on Wednesday, 20 on Thursday and five on Friday.
And help me to remember that on really bad days, while it takes 42 muscles to frown, it takes only four to extend a middle finger.