Marriage is founded on principles, not passions

I’d like to write in response to Michelle Goldsmith’s letter (“Marriage good for kids, so let homosexuals wed”, Monday, September 12).The basis of her letter was that homosexual couples should be allowed to marry simply because of adoptive rights, and that to deny this would continue to devalue their relationship status in the community. The problem with such an argument is that it’s based purely on entitlement and validation when there are other underlying issues that haven’t been addressed by the general public.The institution of marriage has been established for thousands of years, so why has it in the past few years suddenly become politically incorrect to hold such a view?Much of that has to do with the changing attitudes towards homosexuality, and the fact that there’s less stigma attached with discussing such a topic should be seen as a positive. Yet from these attitudes there have been two major misconceptions about homosexuality that I believe would go a long way in shedding some light on the issue.The first of these is the perception that homosexuality is a fixed identity, which isn’t true at all. Despite popular belief, there is no conclusive scientific or genetic evidence to suggest that people are born with homosexuality (American Psychiatric Association 2009 and NARTH). And to support that, there are thousands of ex-gays from such organisations as PFOX and Exodus International that bear testimony to the fact that the homosexual lifestyle is changeable.It’s this misguided view that people are born homosexual that is the root of why people associate intolerance and prejudice towards any judgment or opinion that doesn’t fully validate the gay lifestyle.The other misconception is that people do not necessarily choose to have same-sex feelings. Unfortunately in many cases, same-sex attraction is often developed through early sexual abuse or exposure, and in other cases it’s the result of social or emotional needs that weren’t met early in life.Not only would this help others be more compassionate towards people with homosexuality, but it also says a lot about why people mistakenly believe that marriage is somehow “practically inconsistent, nonsensical and discriminatory” towards homosexual relationships.Since the sexual revolution in the 1960s, there’s been a radical shift in where we get our core values from. Rather than having a society built upon traditional values and virtuous laws, we live in a self-indulgent culture that is trying to define right and wrong by sexual passion and emotional desires.This is why “marriage equality” is such a misleading term as it wrongly implies a previous history of injustice. If all sexual relationships and attractions are considered equal, why do we refuse to accept or tolerate adultery, incest, polygamy or paedophilia? Right now there are activists justifying each of these actions for the exact same reasons, so where do the boundaries stop?The dangerous thing about building a value system on these sensual desires is that they aren’t concrete, because what you think today could easily change tomorrow.As a result, we need to stop trying to superimpose our own values over marriage, but rather, let marriage itself continue to set the standard and be the proper model of what we should aspire and live up to. And I’m sure there’s a silent majority that agrees with that sentiment.Callum Healey,Eaglehawk