Dear Aunty,
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I recently went on holiday with my husband of 15 years. It was supposed to be a romantic getaway for us to celebrate almost 20 years together but ended up being a total nightmare for me.
My husband spent the whole time ogling every young woman in eyeball range and, at times, making what many would suggest were lewd comments.
I have never known him to be so disgusting but as one of my friends mentioned when I told her what had happened, we rarely go out here. He probably behaves like this all the time but I am just not around to witness it.
In the beginning, I chipped him on his behaviour but he just became belligerent and unpleasant telling me to "lighten up". He said that boys will be boys.
I'm not sure how to handle this behaviour and certainly do not want to go out with him in public if this is what I am to endure.
I'm not sure how to make him understand his behaviour is not only sexist and chauvinistic, but also damn hurtful to me.
AGONY AUNT
I was outraged when I read your letter.
Your husband is a disrespectful neanderthal. I find it difficult to believe that the behaviour you witnessed was a one off, and tend to agree with you that this is the way he behaves when away from you.
You have but two choices. You either put up with his actions, which is in essence condoning it, or you stand strong and tell him that you will not tolerate such antics.
Perhaps you could ask him how he would feel if one of these young women he so disparages was his daughter being spoken of by some other man?
As for telling you to lighten up, I saw red.
"Boys will be boys", is such an outdated excuse to allow males to behave in ways that should never have been allowed.
He needs to learn to respect you, particularly, and women in general. Stand strong.
BOYS CLUB
Your husband's behaviour is unacceptable. Tell him so in no uncertain terms.
- aunty.agony@outlook.com