It was a beautiful morning at Longlea the day Carmen Maher died.
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Her father John Maher can remember it clearly. He was waiting for Carmen with wife Ange and daughter Jasmine.
He heard a car pull into the driveway and looked up to see a police car.
The young police officer was crying when he got out.
Mr Maher didn't see his daughter Michelle sitting in the back seat.
The officer said, "There's been a car accident and it's Carmen, she's gone."
He repeated himself, but Mr Maher didn't understand.
"Michelle got out, she looked at us and she was crying, and she said, 'Dad, Carmen's dead', and that's something that I know none of us will ever get out of our mind," Mr Maher said.
Five kilometres from home 18-year-old Carmen had fallen asleep at the wheel and hit a tree. Her sister Michelle was one of the first people on the scene.
The family standing in the kitchen, crying, with their arms around each other, is the next thing Mr Maher remembers.
Then began over a 100 phone calls.
To his parents, to his daughter Katrina in Sydney, to family and friends.
"I know I broke Mum and Dad's heart that day with the same telephone call. Every other call we made, we broke people's hearts all the time," Mr Maher said.
He has told the story for so long it's not painful now. In a way it keeps Carmen in his life.
It's been 22 years since he began to share it at schools.
"I'm actually quite happy to be doing that because it puts Carmen in my life for that day, for an hour, when I'm giving those presentations," Mr Maher said.
"I know that she's impacting students and empowering them to become safer road user."
The night before she died Carmen's best friend had slept at the Maher family home. The girls had stayed up until 4.30am talking.
The next morning, Carmen dropped her friend at work in Bendigo.
At seven minutes past eight, she fell asleep at the wheel
The family never got to see Carmen again.
"We didn't get to hold her hand, tell her we loved her, say a prayer with her," Mr Maher said.
"It is absolutely devastating. It's like living a nightmare when it first happens, then we all pull together. One of the great things was the support of our friends and extended family, they all supported us.
"It's just the toughest of times. No parent should have to bury their child, particularly when it's in a situation that's completely avoidable."
Mr Maher will tell his story at the Bendigo Community Road Safety Forum on April 2.
He wants to see similar forums run throughout Australia.
"In Australia the road is the most dangerous place to be, a life is lost almost every day on our roads," Mr Maher said.
"Everybody must take responsibility for how they use the roads and how they treat other uses of the roads, in particular bike riders, motorcyclists and pedestrians.
"Young people are our future. Young people if they're properly educated on how to use the roads, they can make a difference on our roads."
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Elspeth Kernebone
Accident brought me to journalism, but every day convinces me again that strong media is more important than ever. After a starting off as the sole reporter in a tiny NSW town, I’m loving the teeming metropolis that is Bendigo. Focussed on health, business and education. Got a tip? Email elspeth.kernebone@bendigoadvertiser.com.au.
Accident brought me to journalism, but every day convinces me again that strong media is more important than ever. After a starting off as the sole reporter in a tiny NSW town, I’m loving the teeming metropolis that is Bendigo. Focussed on health, business and education. Got a tip? Email elspeth.kernebone@bendigoadvertiser.com.au.
