Okay, so you’d understand that Harvey has taken a big tumble in popularity after the Weinstein scandals.

Although, curiously, it is, apparently only down 34 per cent in the past year, so there’s still tens of thousands of families who reckons it’s still not too bad.

Rolf took a hammering a few years ago, and Adolph dropped off the radar after 1945.

But take Alexa, about two years ago it was one of the most popular names in the US.

Now, thanks to Amazon’s digital assistant (a term for an item useful to people who can’t switch on a light or determine when it’s time to eat!), Alexa has gone off the boil.

Imagine walking into the lounge at night and saying: “Have you done your homework yet, Alexa?” and an electronic voice answers “Not yet. Working on it.”

Siri did not present as much confusion as the only places I could find where it was a real girl’s name were Scandinavia where it’s short for Sigrid, and in India where it’s a girl’s name meaning “wealth”.

Christian is down about 40 per cent because of … Fifty Shades of Grey.

The bit that disturbs me is that there has not been a return to the solid, spellable Wayne.

I have awaited its resurrection for a long time.

Since the 1980s actually, when Waynes really hit their straps in world history with people such as Wayne Gardner, Wayne Swann, Wayne Brady, Wayne Goss, Wayne Roycroft.

It was such a breath of fresh air after years of being the name mostly likely to be named in courts as the defendant.

But in recent decades, the name has become a recidivist.

There are far too many Waynes in Australia smoking dope, doing ice, pinching Commodores, nicking TVs and getting arrested for dumb and disorderly behaviour.

A chap had hoped that with modern names falling off the perch, space might have been open for Wayne, but no.

Interestingly, the US Social Service agency tracks the popularity of names over history.

In the 1950s, Wayne was the 43rd most popular boys name.

In the 60s, it had drifted to 63rd.

In the 70s, it waned to 112th.

And by the 1990s it was a disgraceful 181st – after Ruben and Hector, but still above Brendan and Omar.

Over the past century, Wayne ranked as the 88th most popular boys name.

There are, or were, 383,786 poor little buggers in the US afflicted with it.

(A personal aside: the 88th most popular female name of the century, with 369,081, was Marilyn, which my Mum later told me was what she’d planned for me in case of a missing chromosome. She was a film fan.)

The numbers for Wayne (and Marilyn) are miniscule compared to the top names of the past century: James with 4,815,847 and Mary, 3,455,228.

In the UK, the top boy’s name was – and is – Harry.

Kate was high last year, but the British Sun newspaper said Kate was slipping and there was already a growing rank of mini-Meghans.

Still no news of a Wayne at Buckingham Palace, sadly, but we hold out hope with the imminent arrival of William and Kate’s newborn. Prince Wayne? It could be a dark horse in the rankings.

WAYNE GREGSON