Confession: I yell at TV quiz shows. A lot.
“Idiot! The answer’s D... D!.. D!.. Surely, everyone knows that! Fool. Where the hell do they get these people from?”
Mrs Whacked often reminds me these people can’t hear me and there’s no point getting loud.
Yes, there is. It’s one of the few opportunities I have in life to loudly and repeatedly demonstrate my superiority and stunning knowledge of just about everything.
To be honest though, the sillier the contestants get, the more I like it. It’s a reverse affirmation that you are not yet completely brain dead.
There have been some wonderful moments in the History of Stupid on quiz shows.
We’ve assembled some prime examples.
From Family Fortunes: 1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the capital of France? - F
4) Name a bird with a long neck? - Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the dental hospital
7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock
9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
Britain’s Mastermind: A British MP appeared on Celebrity Mastermind and was asked, which king succeeded Henry VIII to the throne. "Henry VII"
From University Challenge: Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
The Chase: Name the television naturalist the Attenborosaurus is named after. Ummm … pass.
Pointless: Who was assassinated in Dallas by Lee Harvey Oswald. JR.
What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? I don’t know. I wasn’t watching then.
Family Feud: Name something that follows the word “pork”. Cupine.
What is the Italian word for motorway? Expresso.
Was Tyranosaurus Rex a herbivore or a carnivore? Neither. He was a dinosaur
How many British kings have been called Henry? Well, I know Henry the Eighth, so, err, three?
Who was the only Marx brother who remained silent throughout all their films? Karl.
What is the capital of Italy? France.
Of which European country is Lisbon the capital? Australia.
A pain in the lower legs often suffered by sportsmen is known as Shin …? Dlers List.
Millionaire Hot Seat: Which of the following is not a dinosaur? Brachiosaurus, Tyranosaurus, Stegosaurus or Thesaurus. Pass.
Discovered west of Bendigo in Victoria in 1869 was the large gold nugget known as the Welcome what? Digger, Battler, Stranger or Back Kotter. Back Kotter.
And let us never forget that radio can get into this area of merry mayhem, such as the moment when a Triple M radio broadcaster asked Mark to spell AC/DC for a chance to win a Harley Davidson.
The bloke had about four goes and got them all wrong.
There, now doesn’t that make you feel smarter?