Down the Mall | Monday will soon be just another day

It’s nearly the end of finals footy and it will soon be safe to have lunch in Bendigo pubs on Mondays.

MONDAY MAYHEM: With just weeks left in the season, pubs will soon be superhero-free as Mad Mondays come to an end. Picture: AAP Image/Dean Lewins

MONDAY MAYHEM: With just weeks left in the season, pubs will soon be superhero-free as Mad Mondays come to an end. Picture: AAP Image/Dean Lewins

In the past couple of weeks our DTM Research Team has been confronted with two Captain Americas, one Thor, one Hugh Heffner (complete in short pyjamas and a gaping robe!), lots of young blokes in strange wigs, a Grim reaper and one Warwick Capper.

Sadly, we cannot unsee that last one and we’re reminded that Wokka was said to change after the match with the help of a pair of pointy-nosed pliers.

One pub last week had a couple of young women stretched out on the floor in front of a gas heater, and an intriguing Wonder Woman, who may have been flexible about her gender.

It seems that calls from nine years ago for Mad Mondays to be banned after Brendan Fevola was seen outside a bar early one morning wearing a nightie with a large, umm, appliance protruding have been ignored.

Monday is Brownlow night and Fev is back welcoming hopefuls again. Which could be a different sort of Mad Monday.

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DTM has discovered evidence that it may be the end of football all together for legal reasons.

Under the new anti-terrorism laws the Bombers will be banned, the new industrial relations legislation rules out the Dockers and the Asian bird flu epidemic is causing havoc with the Crows, Eagles, Hawks, Magpies and Swans.

Any transfers to the Cats, Lions, Dogs and Tigers must now be strictly quarantined for at least 12 months. And religious vilification laws mean that no one can legally barrack for the Demons or the Saints.

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We stumbled across a website where people can anonymously pass on their thoughts about previous employers. Yep, dangerous I would have suspected.

One well-known Bendigo firm’s listings (no names, no pack drill) had comments from 29 former workers.

The biggest “Not happy Jan” moment came in the post headed: “Place where experienced people go to die.”