Sports writers like to say that football is a metaphor for life. Here, at Down The Mall, we think it’s the other way round.
It’s nearly the end of season and time to throw the coaches to the wolves. But while everyone’s talking about who will survive this annual blood-letting, in our region life is taking on an eerie parallel universe feeling.
Here’s the overview so far. At City of Greater Bendigo, there’s a hunt for a new coach of the Blue and Golds (maybe) after premiership-winning Craig Niemann is asked to ask for his job back again after a decade of premierships and Brownlows. At team Bendigo Health, coach John Mulder has been ditched by the team leadership group after a long, drawn-out meeting by the judiciary panel.
The St John of God team is looking for a new Saints coach after Darren Rogers didn’t turn up a training for personal reason after five good seasons. Bendigo Stadium’s Jason Wallace fell early in the 2017 season to “pursue other opportunities” just as Team Stadium was about to make a $22 million lunge for glory.
And the real barbecue stopper came with Team Central Goldfields Shire where – in an Essendon-like explosion – Goldfields coach Mark Johnston and the entire team was rubbed out for the rest of the season.
Who’d want to be a chief executive officer. Even in Canberra, it seems like half of Team Oz has been sent to the judiciary after it was suspected they’d been secretly members of opposing teams and hadn’t been committed to giving Oz a red hot go.
Footy is just like life, only more important it appears.
All this week, the world has trembled as we watched the seeds of nuclear war on the Korean peninsula. If that chubby chap with the bad haircut pushes the button, millions will die. The same goes for Kim Jong-un.
And in the US, the worst storm in recorded history has caused tens of billions of dollars in damage in Texas.
But in Australia, every radio and TV bulletin and most online news feeds have considered the most important story of the day to be …. what will Dustin do next?