All roads leading to civilisation

The ‘civilised’ world has a mighty reach, and it’s almost impossible to really get away from it all.

ONE DIRECTION: In the Lake Mungo National Park, the long arm of civilisation wants to ensure everyone knows where they're going - they just won't know how to get back.

ONE DIRECTION: In the Lake Mungo National Park, the long arm of civilisation wants to ensure everyone knows where they're going - they just won't know how to get back.

We have impeccable sources for this story. It’s a chap DTM knows rather well.

I, umm, he was camping on a remote outback station in New South Wales, 650 kilometres north west of Bendigo and 120 kilometres from the tar road at Broken Hill.

The evening campfire serenity was shattered by – of all things – a mobile phone ringing.

“Hi, it’s Matthew, your Uber driver and I’m downstairs to pick you up.”

It rang again the next day.

“Hi, I’m calling about your dental appointment next week.”

And the next day: “Hi, we’re doing a short survey …”

But even when civilisation does stretch out its claw, it can be a little cack-handed.

In the Lake Mungo National Park, near the beautiful Great Walls of China there are traffic directions signs: One Way to the left and, on the other side of the track, One Way to the right.

Curiously, the track really was One Way, but straight ahead.

No wonder international tourists get lost out here.

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It can’t be easy being a long-range weather forecaster for the Bureau of Meteorology.

A few times this year, Down The Mall has noted that God seems to be having his little joke with the Bureau’s monthly rainfall predictions for Bendigo.

Remember April? It was supposed to be “significantly” dryer than an average year.

In reality, it set a record high: 113.2 millimetres against an expected 33.1 millimetres.

It’s looking like the Great Chuckle In The Sky is being repeated in June.

With the month more than half gone, we have officially had 1.6 milimetres, or to put it more technically, three-fifths of five-eighths of … not very much.

The June average is 52.8 millimetres.

So, we looked up the long-range forecast for June and it said … “Well above normal.”

We look forward to September and October predicted to be well below normal.

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