One of the happiest times in my life was when all four of our children were at home with us.

Busy as bees though we were, with commitments that included sport, homework and music, there was always lots of laughter, plenty of loud music, and heated raised voices on occasions!

When our children moved out of home we anxiously watched as each of them succeeded in completing various degrees through universities and post-uni studies.

The challenge in our lives came when partners were brought home to meet and greet.

Some we liked. Some we really couldn’t warm to, but we learnt to zip the lips, hold our breath and hope common sense would prevail. It ultimately did.

Now as our children are approaching ‘middle age’ (they hate being reminded of that) we have the reward of watching them parenting their children.

We like to believe they perhaps learnt a thing or two from us. Would they think so? Probably not. Their children are encouraged to keep busy and active, lots of sport, dance, gymnastics and music.

Their parents as teenagers were at the beginning of the drug scene. Parenting must be so much more difficult today, with drugs so available everywhere.

Unfortunately none of our children and their families live close enough for us to check them out on a regular basis, so one day when one of our grandsons arrives and he is now taller than me and his voice is suddenly much deeper I am astonished. A granddaughter will demonstrate some dance move, another a demanding gymnastics move. They’re growing up.

Recently the now second youngest, the six-year-old, was invited to a sleepover with her older cousins. 

She arrived home the following day and announced firmly to her mother that she was leaving home to live with her cousins, walking straight into her room to begin packing.

Clearly being the youngest in the family with two older brothers, with whom she regularly wrestled, was no match for girl cousins who plied her with make-up, painted her fingers and toenails, and rearranged her curly unmanageable hair. She worshipped her oldest cousin, following after him like a little lamb. No effort on his part was required to win her total adoration.

As a final insult to her mother, when tucked into bed that night, she gently whispered in her mother’s ear ‘It’s alright Mummy.  I’ll always love you’. There were no dramas. She’d forgotten by the following day, and the case was quietly packed away until the next sleepover.

We hear of family rifts and feuds from time to time. When I listen to friends I understand how devastating this can be. Perhaps I’m a glass half full person but I believe there is always an opportunity to mend those hurtful rifts that happen between families, to walk that extra mile, to reach a little further than halfway. Family is so important, particularly as one grows older.

Now is the time to take that step. If rejection is the response you receive you will know you’ve tried. Make that call. It’s New Year. A fresh start. You won’t regret it.

ANNIE YOUNG