If you’ve spent time with a young child, you’ll know how much they tend to favour the word ‘no’.

Can you please brush your teeth? ‘No.’ Stop doing that: ‘No.’ Come on, it’s time to go home now… ‘No.’ 

But are we teaching the next generation to say no when it really matters, and to respect it when they hear it?

Social commentator Jane Caro believes we could be doing more. 

She will be in Bendigo on Thursday, moderating a panel discussion about a scenario when the word ‘no’ could not be more crucial: an unwanted sexual encounter. 

Firstly, she believes there needs to be a shift in the way we approach the matter of consent. 

“Anything is okay until the girl says no is a predatory approach,” Caro says.

“Really, the approach should be that the girl says yes, not waiting until she says no that you stop.”

She believes part of that is about helping girls become more comfortable with saying the word no.

“It’s a word we don’t teach girls in their normal life,” Caro says. 

“They can be confused when it’s the right thing to do to say no.” 

This, as Caro observes, is a world in which Donald Trump is set to become the 45^th president of the USA.

“Fifty-three per cent of white women are perfectly happy to have a man who clearly pushes his luck until someone says no [as president],” she says. 

“We need to stop saying ‘boys will be boys’ when they are behaving badly.

“The election of Donald Trump has sent the exact opposite message.

“It said men can do anything they like and they will still be lauded and celebrated. We have to stop that.”

It’s also a world in which Caro believes women often feel like prey.

“What we have to recognise is this feeling of lack of safety and feeling of being prey in some ways is a very common one for women,” she said. 

“Which is not to say that all men are predators – they’re not.

“But all women sometimes feel like prey.

“We need to make it clear it is not acceptable for women to feel afraid. We need to talk about why and how to stop.”

The panel discussion is part of the Community Sector Showcase at Ulumbarra Theatre on November 24.

Discussion about the scenario – “Does silence mean consent?’ – starts at 2pm.

Panel members include Haven; Home, Safe chief executive officer Ken Marchingo, Bendigo Advertiser editor Nicole Ferrie, Annie North Women's Refuge and Domestic Violence Service chief executive officer Julie Oberin, Loddon Campaspe Centre Against Sexual Assault chief executive officer Kate Wright, and Bendigo Senior Secondary College principal Dale Pearce. 

To register for the free event, click here.