It was recently suggested I write about the rudeness of our youth today, and their seemingly ungracious behaviour towards teachers, shopkeepers, older people and authority in general.

Well, I am about to disappoint my good friend, because I actually want to write about how terrific I believe our young people are today. Sure, there are some, a minority, who are rude and aggressive, but perhaps we need to ask ourselves why they behave in that manner.

Counsellor friends of mine maintain that behind every angry young person is a child  betrayed by adults who have an ‘attitude’ problem themselves. Many of these young people live in dysfunctional families, not disciplined or guided wisely, and in many cases have a very good reason for presenting an angry and unpleasant face to the world. They don’t choose how they started out in life. The family you are born into is sheer chance.

There are certainly years when adolescents are working out their place in the world, when they may seem a little angry or uncertain where they fit. I have found that by the time they reach their late teens by far the majority are growing into caring and concerned young people.

I stress ‘concerned’ because they are often very worried about how we adults are treating our environment, our irreplaceable resources, the cost of further education, the jobs of the future.

In my experience, which was 50 years of working with children of all ages and stages, I found most young people inspiring, searching for meaning and purpose, supportive of friends, and genuine in their friendships and love of family.

Young people today, as in every generation, have pressures in their lives we adults have long forgotten. Clearly the social pressures on the young today are frightening, with websites devoted to encouraging every form of communication possible, some very threatening. Sifting their way through all that constant chatter must be arduous, when time has also to be given to more serious pursuits like homework, study, sport and the occasional social outing. How to organise one’s time must be a difficult challenge.

We can’t turn the clock back. Young people will work these challenges out sooner than we adults imagine. Today we encourage our young people to think for themselves, make their own decisions and challenge authority. We can hardly then turn around and complain when they do just that!

Adults grumble about the rudeness of young people. Have you ever listened to adults? I have felt embarrassed at the way young shop assistants are spoken to by supposed ‘adults’. I don’t hear too many gracious thanks. The young assistants in turn remain unfailingly polite. 

Teenagers are a minority in our society. It is difficult for them to defend themselves as they don’t have a strong voice in the community. Instead of complaining and criticising, let’s support these young people. They deserve our encouragement and admiration.

ANNIE YOUNG