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Never before has the idea of two men sitting on a small couch been more hotly anticipated.
Tony Abbott and Joe Hockey may have lost their jobs in the most public and spectacular way possible in September. But their political fate would only be sealed when they took their places on the *splutter* backbench in Parliament.
Allowing a month for Malcolm Turnbull to sort out a new ministry, Abbott to weather the initial shock and a three week parliamentary break, it took until 2pm on Monday for the nation to get its grand look-see.
The seating plan certainly promised spicy things: the former PM and former treasurer, side-by-side up the back, with a fabulous view of the despatch box.
Would the two come in wearing fake nose disguises? Would they bring Maltesers to throw at Turnbull supporters? Would they cry? Death stare? Eat their own earwax?
The answer was F) none of the above.
Never before have two backbench MPs had more paperwork to do in question time.
Abbott and Hockey may no longer be the two most important people in the government but clearly, this has not stemmed their workload.
As question time - and talk of penalty rates and trade deals thundered around them - the born-again backbenchers appeared to be 120 per cent absorbed by folders and papers.
No doubt they are now being inundated with requests to attend end-of-season netball club award nights.
How else can you explain why they barely had a chance to look up for more than an hour?
Elsewhere in the chamber, the backbench bore the scars of the huge upheaval Canberra has witnessed in recent months.
Former minister for enthusiasm, Bruce Billson was seated up in the cheap seats, next to former whip and Abbott lieutenant, Andrew Nikolic.
Dumped cabinet veterans Ian Macfarlane and Kevin Andrews looked on impassively (without paperwork) form the b-bench. They didn't need to show any emotion - over on the other side of the aisle, Bronwyn Bishop was doing enough glowering for them all.
The idyllic scene was momentarily threatened early on, when Bill Shorten asked Turnbull why he had "heaped praise" on Abbott at Saturday's NSW Liberal Party State Council.
"Given the Prime Minister's admiration for the member for Warringah's great achievements, why did [he] overthrow [him] for the top job?"
At "heaped praise," Abbott looked up.
But by the time Turnbull had launched into his answer - cringingly thanking Shorten for allowing him to "once again" compliment his predecessor - the member for Warringah's attention were focussed elsewhere.
After all, he had lots of paperwork to get through.
