Which is a bit odd, when you think about how stressful travel can be. The security queues at the airport, the long hours of the flight, trying to find your way around an unfamiliar town where they speak an unfamiliar language: none of it is designed to stoke the fires of romance. And that is before we get to the expense of the exercise.

Yet experts agree that, when it comes to giving your twosome some TLC, a holiday may be just what the doctor ordered.

"Daily distractions and pressures can take their toll on a relationship," says Sue Yorston of Relationships Australia.

"A holiday gives us a way to get away from it all and actually spend time with each other."

It is how you spend that time, of course, that counts. You may dream of a road trip, the two of you in a cabriolet looking like Grace Kelly and Cary Grant, only to find yourself in an overheated Hyundai, bickering over wrong turns and cursing aggressive drivers.

If you want to come home loved-up rather than at loggerheads, start by choosing holiday that works for the two of you. Action-packed or lazing around? Pared-back or pure pampering? We put five popular kinds of holidays under the microscope, and show you how to avoid the pitfalls and ramp up the romance. 

THE CHILL-OUT ESCAPE

It's the classic holiday that many of us picture when we dream of getting away from it all: a tropical island with blue water, white sand and a steady supply of cocktails. In this low-key retreat, the main agenda item is relaxing, with lazy days spent doing nothing fading into balmy nights enjoying al fresco dinners.

HOW IT CAN HELP "With so many everyday pressures to deal with, many of us envisage a romantic holiday as one with lots of downtime," says Relationship Australia's Yorston. "If you haven't been able to enjoy much time together, the idea of sitting around doing nothing is very appealing."

THE DOWNSIDE Not everyone is good at doing nothing; some people start to go a bit stir-crazy after two days. And, if you haven't really talked for six months, you may find it hard to begin a conversation.

HOW TO ADD SIZZLE Look for a place with more than one speed: where, as well as lying around doing nothing, you can get out and active when the mood strikes. Anantara Si Kao, in southern Thailand, delivers everything you would expect from a tropical hideaway: indulgent villas, blue water lapping at sandy beaches, and plenty of quiet corners to curl up together.

Should you tire of lying around at the resort's beach club, perched on an idyllic island surrounded by colourful corals, there are plenty of activities to choose from. Hike through the lush jungle to a mighty waterfall, visit one of the nearby Buddhist temples, or brush up your kitchen skills at the resort's cooking school.

MORE INFORMATION Rates from $125, see anantara.com.

THE ACTIVE ESCAPE

Many of us find that our office jobs prevent us being the people we would like to be. In our imaginations, we are fit and active, spending our weekends exploring the great outdoors, working in harmony as we conquer mountains or kayak down rivers. An active holiday offers not just the chance to explore stunning surrounds, but promises a workout that will be good for our relationship as well as our bodies.

HOW IT CAN HELP Getting out and getting active together has plenty of potential positives.

"Doing things together is a great way to make memories," says Yorston. "An active holiday will also give you plenty of endorphins from exercise."

THE DOWNSIDE Make sure you choose an activity that appeals equally to both of you. There is no point taking a week-long ski vacation together if you are over it by day four, while your partner is still powering down the slopes until daylight disappears. Whether you opt for cycling, climbing or something else, check your fitness levels as well as your enthusiasm levels. If one of you is ready to go another 15km while the other is already getting out the Band-Aids, you can expect recriminations and resentments to be served up alongside dinner.

HOW TO ADD SIZZLE Pick a destination that offers a choice of activities with different grades of difficulty, so you can take things easy on those low-energy days. Lake Wanaka on New Zealand's South Island offers hiking and cycling trails to suit every fitness levels, surrounded by glorious mountains and glaciers, rivers and lakes.

Take the half-day Rob Roy Glacier Track, which leads through beech forest into alpine scenery with views across snowfields and glaciers. Or hop on a bike and follow the Clutha River Track from Lake Wanaka to Albert Town, cooling off with a swim in the lake.

MORE INFORMATION lakewanaka.co.nz

THE FOODIE ESCAPE

Rich red wines redolent of cherries and chocolate; delicate salads scattered with micro-greens and pretty petals; rich, buttery mashed potato and a perfectly cooked steak: few things are more worth savouring than good food and wine. Feasting on them together is guaranteed to get you in the mood for more sensual pleasures.

HOW IT CAN HELP "Good food feeds your soul as well as your body," says Yorston.

"It's about savouring the experience, slowing down and enjoying what's around you: the food, the wine, the people you are sharing it with."

Sounds like a recipe for romance to us.

THE DOWNSIDE Of course, a week spent in Italy/Spain/insert your favourite foodie destination here, where one exquisite meal follows another, sounds enticing.

However, it's the detail that can let you down. Haven't we all picked a pretty little trattoria for lunch, only to discover too late that it is an overpriced tourist trap? Those sort of experiences leave a nasty taste in the mouth.

HOW TO ADD SIZZLE Enlist an expert to ensure that every morsel on your trip is simply magnificent. Maeve O'Meara​'s Gourmet Safari runs foodie trips to some of the world's most exciting culinary destinations. Her Turkey Gourmet Safari, for instance, takes you from the buzzing streets of Istanbul to the ancient ruins of Ephesus​, with plenty of stops to sample superb street food, drink coffee in centuries-old coffee houses, and try your hand at cooking classes.

MORE INFORMATION From $7200, gourmetsafaris.com.au

THE OCEAN-GOING ESCAPE

There is a reason the word "cruisey" is used to describe a carefree experience. If you want a holiday where neither of you has to make any hard decisions, hop on board. With everything from meals to excursions taken care of, you can relax in the knowledge that your biggest decision is what time to get up in the morning.

HOW IT CAN HELP "The hard work has all been done for you, which is very relaxing," Yorston says.

"You can have an adventure without worrying that the hotel doesn't have your booking, or that you have taken the wrong route to your next destination."

Less stress equals more opportunity for romance equals sounds goods to us.

THE DOWNSIDE There is a bewildering range of cruise lines and itineraries out there; take the time to find one that suits you.

If your main aim is to do plenty of sightseeing, avoid cruises with lots of sea days. Easily bored? Choose a ship which offers a wide range of on board activities.

HOW TO ADD SIZZLE Oceania's luxury cruises combine interesting destinations with plenty of on-ship options. On their 17-day cruise from Singapore to Hong Kong aboard the MV Insignia, ports of call include Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. On board, you can try your hand at mahjong or line dancing; catch a cabaret show or a performance by the string trio performances; and work your way through restaurants from Italian to grill to al fresco.

MORE INFORMATION From $3360 per guest, see oceaniacruises.com

THE OUTDOORS ESCAPE

Sometimes, the most romantic thing you can do is go back to basics. Who needs king-size beds or five-course feasts when you have each other? Find your own perfect patch of wilderness and set up a canvas love-nest. A camping trip lets you savour the simple things, from dinner cooked over a campfire to falling asleep to the murmur of the wind in the trees.

HOW IT CAN HELP Keeping it simple removes all the extraneous distractions from your life, and gives you back that all-important sense of freedom.

"There is something delightful about stopping at some scenic river, setting up a tent and just enjoying the environment," says Yorston.

THE DOWNSIDE Cooking up dinner at sunset over an open fire is great fun; cleaning the dishes in the dark is not. Waking in the wild may be romantic; digging your own toilet is not.

HOW TO ADD SIZZLE Instead of camping, try glamping. Luxury tents, complete with functioning bathrooms and often fully catered, let you enjoy both the great outdoors and all your favourite creature comforts.

In Queensland's Lamington National Park, the intimate Nightfall Wilderness Camp has just three safari tents, each equipped with a king-size bed, a fireplace and a bath tub. It makes the perfect base for exploring one of our loveliest landscapes.

MORE INFORMATION From $455 a night, nightfallcamp.com.au

HOW TO KEEP THAT HOLIDAY LOVE ALIVE

Ever envied those couples at the airport who return home still holding hands? Sue Yorston, of Relationships Australia, shares her top tips for how to get a holiday glow that lingers.

TRY SOMETHING NEW "Sharing new experiences can bring you closer together," says Yorston. "The key is that neither partner should feel pressured into doing anything. When you're back at home, thinking about it should bring a smile to your face."

DO SOMETHING OLD "Go back to the things that you were attracted to in each other originally," recommends Yorston. If he used to cook amazing meals, spend an afternoon shopping together at the local market and let him loose in the kitchen. If you fell in love with her laugh, catch a comedy performance that will bring smiles to both your faces.

PICK UP A SOUVENIR "Mementoes are very important. They trigger our memories of the good times," says Yorston. Choose something you will use or look at regularly – a tablecloth, perhaps, or a photo frame for your bedside table.

TALK TO EACH OTHER "A holiday is a great chance to connect outside your usual routine," Yorston says.

"Listen to what your partner has to say and respond to it – even if it's just a comment about the beautiful sunset."

PLAN YOUR NEXT HOLIDAY "Any time you are feeling relaxed is a good time to talk about the future," Yorston says. That can be a conversation about long-term goals, or just about next year's holiday. Having something to look forward to is never a bad thing.

IT TAKES TWO: HOT HOLIDAYS FOR COUPLES

Need to turn up the heat in your relationship? The world's best hotels and resorts are ready to help. Here is our pick of the best experiences for couples around the world.

SOMETHING FISHY

There is plenty to love about Per Aquum's exclusive Huvafen Fushi resort, the Maldives, but our vote for most sensual experience is the massage for two in the resort's underwater spa. The massage is damn good, lazing about together afterwards in the underwater treatment room, with fish swimming past you, is even better. Doubles from $1515; 60-minute massage from $400U; see huvafenfushi.peraquum.com

RIDING INTO THE SUNSET

Live out your Lawrence of Arabia fantasies at Banyan Tree's United Arab Emirates desert retreat, Al Wadi. From the outside, the resort's villas resemble traditional mud-brick dwellings; inside, these decadent pleasure palaces feature every creature comfort, including your own private pool. Turn up the romance factor with a sunset camel ride across the sandy wastes, finishing with a private barbecue dinner for two under the stars. Doubles from $736per night; activities from $844 a  couple; see banyantree.com

HIGH SOCIETY

Partial to a touch of retro charm? The colonial-era Cameron Highlands Resort set amid the rolling hills of Malaysia's highlands has a distinct yesteryear feel with its plantation shutters, French doors and timber-beamed ceilings. Keep the old-school romance going with a private picnic in the tranquil surrounds of a verdant tea plantation. Doubles from $229  per night; activities from $278 for two; see cameronhighlandsresort.com.

ALL THE RAJ

The Lake Palace at Udaipur​ may be India's most romantic hotel, an 18th-century palace floating in the middle of a scenic lake. The icing on the cake: a sunset sail on the royal barge, which includes drinks,  gourmet snacks, and a performance by dancers on the lake shore.

Ready to turn it up another notch? Add dinner to the itinerary. Doubles from $1167  per night; activities from $2122  for up to seven guests; see tajhotels.com.

BRANCHING OUT

Up for a wild night? Then sign up for the Treetop Sleep Out at Bamurru Plains,the Northern Territory's most luxurious safari-style experience.

Slip into a deluxe swag in the lodge's private treehouse, from where you can hear buffalo snorting or the call of a barking owl. Sleeping under the stars has never been so exciting.

Rooms from $590 per adult, per night twin-share, including all meals and beverages; activities $195 per person including a private evening safari drive or airboat to The Hide; see bamurruplains.com.

BARE FACTS

Ready to break a few boundaries? The rustic-chic Ventana Inn and Spa, set amid the giant redwoods of California, has two swimming pools, including one with a clothing-optional policy. If you are not game to go skinny-dipping in broad daylight, sneak out for a night-time dip, then heat up in the nearby Japanese hot pool. Doubles from $1700 a night; see ventanainn.com.

HANDS-ON

What's better than a spa treatment? How about a private masseur of your own? The luxurious Anse Chastanet​ resort on the Caribbean island of St Lucia offers a mini-massage course for couples, so you can rub each other up the right way. Just what you would expect from one of the Caribbean's most romantic retreats. Doubles from $515  per night; activities from $338; see ansechastenet.com.

BLESSED INTERVENTION

The highlight of any cruise up Myanmar's Ayeyarwady​ River is the chance to explore Bagan​, the city of 2000  temples. Passengers on Belmond's luxurious Road to Mandalay vessel can have their partnership blessed by a Buddhist monk. Traditional attire is provided, as well as a horse and carriage to take you to the monastery. From $1833 per person for a three-day cruise; activities from $493; see belmond.com.