We mention this because the City and Bendigo Senior Secondary College have been hosting thousands of people in recent weeks, showing them what our spiffing theatre looks like on the eve of its opening.

Everyone has been issued with lurid orange jackets and big white helmets.

It seems we cannot cough in today’s society without wearing eyeball-searing safety vests.

We had not previously known that visiting a theatre was life-threatening.

But … do these vests work? 

In Ulumbarra’s case, without any accidents to report, you’d be tempted to say: probably.

But research from Britain says: Maybe and maybe not. It depends on what the ambient lighting and colouring is.

In really bright sunlight, even black vests can be more visible.

In darkness, white sticks out. 

As we know this week, in certain circumstances, blue and blue stick out like … well, white and gold.

But when EVERYONE’S wearing orange?

Mobile-less and happy

At the Addy reunion last week we ran into an old mate we hadn’t seen for about 20 years. 

“Give us your mobile number,” we said.

“Don’t have one,” Bill replied. “My son gave me one once, but it never rang.”

There was a barrage of questions: how do you stay in touch? How do you function? How do you get on without Twitter, Instagram etc etc etc.

His answer to all the questions was: “Quite well, thank you.”

Who knows, this could become City of Greater Bendigo policy after the past few days.

Evolving language

Ah yes, Bill is still of the world in which tweets came from the trees, trolls were in fairy tales, a post was a pole in the ground, text was a noun not a verb, Tumblr was something you drank tap water from, while Skype and Reddit were probably just typos.

Facebook is probably all about cosmetics.

The perfect companion

We found this little yarn on a seniors’ site (don’t ask) about an alleged Public Notice lodged with the Addy. We checked and found the same supposed notice had been claimed to have appeared in papers all round the world. It would be nice to think it had genuinely appeared somewhere.

“SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your Ute, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire, going to the pub. Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me…. Call 0354 43 1111 and ask for Lucy – I’ll be waiting…..”

Inserted below was a photo of a charming black Labrador puppy.

It was claimed more than 150 men telephoned and found themselves talking to the RSPCA in Bendigo.