IT is a constant, frustrating battle dealing with ultra large corporations these days.
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If you agree, dial 1; if you don’t, dial 2; and if you want to vent about this, please hang up and try again later when one of our customer service operatives will be available to take your very valuable call … or not.
In recent times, I have expressed frustration at the complexity of conversations with Telstra.
I am duty bound to report that a very charming case manager named Angelique, who had the staying power of a large rock, sorted it out.
It turned out that the final frustrating aspect of this new service was that I’d spent two days trying to log into my new computer service, only to find that the geek who’d sent me the password had had his or her Caps Lock on at the time! So, instead of (for example) Whacked 12, I’d been told wHACKED12. Aaargh.
It’s funny how every time you end one of these communications dramas, the organisation contacts you with an automatic “How Did We Go?” survey.
Mrs Whacked just had a phone call from a robot asking that question. (Or it might have been Stephen Hawking having a little joke.)
But I think I have experienced, or may well be still experiencing, the weirdest communication ever.
This time it’s superannuation.
The 2008 Global Financial Crisis whacked my superannuation severely around the head and shoulders, and it has never really recovered. This means I may well have to work until the age of 114. Either that, or have the good sense to die 12 minutes after I retire.
I was trying to change the way my two-and-six was invested last week. I wanted it placed in a more conservative portfolio and I’d been told it was easy to do – online.
All you had to do was fill in the details and two working days later, the change would happen. (Thinks: TWO days for an instant change?)
No it wasn’t easy to do. Two days of effort came to naught, and in frustration I tried to speak to a human being about it, which then led me back into Push Button 1, 2, territory.
The superannuation company’s computer system had a glitch, so they sent me a form.
Which I filled out and sent back and the email confirmation said the change would be made …. in seven to 10 working days.
I asked why what should have been instant had become two days and then stretched to seven to 10.
Now, I swear this is exactly what happened: I got a swift email response saying that my most recent query would be replied to within three to five days.
It has now been five days and there has been no response.
Update: It's now seven days since I've heard and I just got a message saying they'd lost my query, so could I send it again? I don't think I will.