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There is no polite way to say it, but when Clive Palmer stands up in question time now, certain images spring to mind unbidden. Intrusive and unwelcome though they may be, these thought-shadows wing their way to the consciousness with horrific alacrity.
It has been thus ever since Clive shared with the nation his parliamentary toilet habits, in particular the fact that he feels "lighter" after their completion.
Last week he told journalists he quit the (parliamentary) chamber before question time finished because of a "pressing act of nature". Note that most people merely feel the "call" of nature, but Clive is a man of such great stature, both physical and metaphysical, that his functions are no less than mighty "acts", fearsome and God-like as mechanised dinosaurs at golf park.
And so when the Member for Fairfax sprang to his feet on Monday, with a lightness which belied his prodigious bone structure, all eyes were on him, and the brains behind those eyes struggled to banish the pictures their imaginations threw at them.
Palmer had a question for the Health Minister about the $7 Medicare co-payment the government continues to insist it will pass in the truculent Senate. A co-payment which is as popular in the electorate as an un-ventilated WC.
Palmer chose to exploit the theme of the day (rather inappropriately some may quibble), by declaring that his party, the Greens and Labor had all "declared war" on the co-payment.
"There is no prospect of it becoming law ... why does the government persist in undermining business confidence by not putting forward proposals that have the support of the Australian people and by putting forward proposals that will never happen?"
Palmer's attention-grabbing antics grow ever more shameless, and it is truly terrifying to ponder what he will do or share next in the name of political theatre.
But during a day when Labor's attacks on the government were decidedly limp, you had to admit he sometimes has a knack for cutting through the ...
You can let your imagination finish that.
