ONE beaut thing about it being 2014 is that's two years past the release of perhaps the most annoying and fatuous film of all time: 2012.
Remember it? Wish I couldn't. Apparently because some drugged up South American soothsayer had a bit much of the mushies the Mayans came up with a calendar saying the great circle of time would end in 2012.
Hey, it made a change from eating still beating human hearts.
And – as we simple minded humans so often do - we dressed up that bit of nonsense with all sorts of other doom-gloom stuff involving eco-dark arts, financial Armageddon, and some quasi Eastern mysticism which saw gigantic high tech “arks” coming out of the Himalayas in Tibet, saving our species.
There really were (and maybe still are) people loopy enough to have believed those predictions.
They are the same people who had breakfast with Elvis last Tuesday, saw Harold Holt get off the submarine in China, and who are still terribly worried about the social implications of the popularity of the Biro.
They are the same people who say they don't believe a word spoken by journalists or politicians, but will believe the prognostications of charlatan astrologers and psychics. Why? I mean, it's not as if these people aren't constantly proved wrong. You have only to check their predictions. Here's some:
US ordained minister of religion, reiki master, hypnotherapist, psychologist (yep, he's 125 at least) LaMont Hamilton's “accurate” predictions for the year just gone included, William and Kate having a girl, Pope Benedict getting pneumonia, peace in the Middle East, a giant earthquake on the US east coast, the end of the Saudi Arabian kingdom, and a mind-to-mind telepathic counnicator will be invented. Yeah right.
Some self-proclaimed psychic named Vicki Monroe predicted (get this) the US would finally deal with gun control issues, Tom Cruise will quit Scientology, Justin Beiber makes a great movie. Next.
“Psychic to the Stars” Nikki said 2013 would witness a nuclear AND a chemical attack on New York, huge earthquake in the north of the US, and an assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth.
Judi Hevenly (it is becoming clear that mystics can't spell) predicted earthquakes on the US west coast.
Craig and Jane Hamilton-Parker said China would have a democratic revolution in June. And that Simon Cowell would become spiritual.
Jessica Adams predicted either Malcolm Turnbull or Julie Bishop would become PM.
And Australia will become a republic around June 2014.
Gwen Gordon and Debbie Malone from the Australian Psychics Association said William and Kate would have a girl. The association's Psychic of the Year, an 84-year-old Queenslander known as Kawena said she was “shocked” to win the title …. which I think should have meant her disqualification.
Is that not enough to stop you believing this junk?
I do fear for society's capacity to pay attention after reading this morning that one-third of Americans and probably of Australians, don't believe in evolution.
(BushWhacked's predictions for 2014: just enough news will happen to fill the available number of news pages and bulletins, about 2675 Bendigonians will write anonymous letters to the editor about the “Bloody Council”, this year will have 52 weeks, lots of people will be happy but more will say they are disgusted and appalled. Check me in 2015 if you like.)