This is the true story of a local woman who has come close to losing everything because of problem gambling. Her story is the first of four provided by St Luke’s Anglicare Gambler’s Help program.
FRANCES (not her real name) is 62 and said: I have had a great life, great marriage, great job and great children.
But when my daughter got killed in a car accident six years ago I just hit rock bottom. I felt so alone, I felt life could never be good again. I think that was when I started playing the poker machines.
It was a great escape for me. I didn’t have to think. It was a safe and comfortable place far away from my grief. I never really counted how much money I was spending.
My bank statements were several pages long, but I never read them. I know that I would often have lost $300 to $400 a session.
When I was in there, a $50 note was not like a $50 note any more, I just put them in those darn machines.
The strange thing about it was that when I came home after having played the pokies I used to feel so ashamed and guilty. I used to beat myself up about it, but I still went back. I was also trying to hide my gambling from friends and family. I got really sneaky about my gambling and really good at lying. I did not like doing that.
The day I realised that I really had a problem, and that I really needed to do something about it, was when I had spent the money I was going to use to buy Christmas presents for my children and grandchildren on the pokies, and I had no money at all - that for me was the turning point. The shame I felt was unbelievable. It was very hard to give up gambling.
This little gambling voice was just there all the time, and driving past a venue when this voice was there was extremely hard. Making that phone call to a Gambler’s Help service to speak to a counsellor was so hard, because you are admitting you have got a problem.
As it turned out it was so helpful. The counsellor told me about the option to self-exclude from the poker venues in town and explained to me how to go about doing that. That was really a big help to me.
I chose to sign a two-year contract agreeing not to enter the venues, to be safe. It was quite an easy thing to do. I know that I am not going into a venue to get asked to leave - that would just be too embarrassing!
I did have money to buy the family Christmas presents this year! I still see my counsellor once a month just to make sure I stay on track, but I feel very confident. I know all the signs (of wanting to gamble) and I know what to do about it. I still feel so lucky that I have my family and my home. I know people who have lost their family and home.
I guess it was up to me to do something about my gambling before I lost everything. I don’t want to die thinking I spent my life at the pokies.
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