BEFORE I start this column, let me say I don't believe any person should sit in judgment of another - particularly mothers.
Whether they work, or don't . . . who cares, so long as it's best for the woman and her family.
So now, forgive me as I contradict myself.
Recently on a commercial television station, a current affairs program featured a woman who said her role was to stay at home and keep the house and children in order, before tending to her husband at the day's end.
She stated that as “he worked hard all day” it was her responsibility to care for him.
That's her choice and I'm fine with that, although I could never see myself adopting the same lifestyle.
But what alarmed me was her belief that the husband's role as sole breadwinner entitled him to all decision-making rights in terms of how the couple's finances were spent.
A'hem! Did we just go back 50 years?
I know there are arguments aplenty about whether feminists half a century ago set women of the noughties up for a fall.
They said we could have it all, and we went out and did it.
We are juggling careers, motherhood, in some cases marriage, social networks and “me time”.
We're not burning bras or rallying in the streets any more, we're getting the job done . . . albeit between breast feeds, grocery shopping, packing school lunches, ironing, housecleaning and coaching the under-seven soccer team.
We know we have choices our mothers and theirs were not able to enjoy and we are making the most of it.
Yes, some women are leaving their careers to focus on motherhood, most because they enjoy it, but many because the juggling act is just too hard. And it is, there's no denying it.
Particularly for those who find themselves doing it alone.
Others have given up their careers because childcare is out of reach, a decision they never wanted to make, but which was forced upon them by finances.
No one ever said it would be easy. But women wanted it all, and now we have the one thing we should have always had: the choice.
But when you hear a woman in 2009 say she is not entitled to a say when it comes to how the family finances are spent, alarm bells start ringing.
Are we taking a huge step backwards?
Did we get to where we wanted to be, only to find it's not what was promised and life was easier
50 years ago? Surely not.
I would like to think that at the very least, we have acknowledged that a woman's contribution to a partnership, whether as a stay-at-home mother, working mother or
childless partner, is equal to that of a man's.
What would Germaine Greer think?
She who said “the housewife is an unpaid employee in her husband's house in return for the security of being a permanent Employee”.
One of the most significant feminist voices of the 20th century, Greer may have her critics .th.th. but she hit the nail on the head with this one - at the time.
We, as women, have fought hard to get to where we are today.
We shouldn't have had to, but we did.
So if I could get one message across to the young woman who sold herself short when she told the world she did not have the right to make decisions about her finances, it would be to have some respect for herself.
Regardless of her role in the household, she has equal rights.
Everywhere.
And most importantly, in her home.
Nicole Ferrie is The Advertiser's deputy editor.
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